Sarcastic Recognition 99bpm Gb Db Absus Ab i step aside after tumultuous auditions and get stultified by your sarcastic recognition Gb Db oh it's fine, we're all okay we'll work it out another day as long as [Bbm]you don't give a[Ebm]way my insu[Ab]bordinate pos[Absus]i[Ab]tion Gb Db Absus Ab the worrywarts in fast food marts captured our hearts and now it Gb Db Ab starts to seem that irony is dead monopsony has captured our orthodoxy and satis- fied itself by raising up stale bread i'm just surprised that anyone out there would listen i feel maligned and petrified by your ambition Editor-Insect G C E When Kafka wrote the Metamorphosis His editor said, what the fuck is this A B It makes being a bug sound like a drag And that shit's really not my bag It happened that the editor was an insect So he found the work offensive and demeaning Bus Above Me B I wonder if our words are real C-barre They seem to have that wooden sound B Hollow inside, hardened case C G-bar Am-barre Our life today feels upside down The hills are yellow, not ideal The phone is ringing, I ignore Desires for expanse of space We're losing it for so much more (C:) Am-open Em D Am Em D I thought you loved me Now a bus has been thrown above me You tell me you don't think I care Look beside you, nothing's there Roads are narrow, sweeping dirt C G Am-barre[extra bar] If you fall I'll be the one who'll hurt (C) (C) B C G Am-barre[2 stabs] 133bpm i think? Sense of Gruesome Hotels Cadd9[x32033] D That inn may seem scary G Cadd9 But I don't think you have to worry Cadd9 D G I've got a sense for gruesome hotels And if there were vampires or Murderous zombies Believe me, I would let you know A Cadd9 G Now I can't speak for the housekeeping Or the cleanliness of the hotel pool But I'm pretty sure you won't get your head chopped off Cadd9 D G In that hotel Cadd9 G Cadd9 G Cadd9 D G Theory/Plane Em7[020000] Dsus[xx0202] Here is the theory xx4444 xx3333 And here is the plane 107bpm Matter for the Bicycle Research F# B C# G#m You've stopped going to church F# B C# You say it doesn't matter All that counts is your research On how to make tires fatter Cycling up the side of sheer cliff walls There's no grade that can stop ya But if the rock handles should come lose and fall Your suction cups will drop ya Matter for the bicycle research That's what you need To build a stronger bicycle And a head that doesn't bleed 148bpm Wonderful Transition power chords G# B A G# 136bpm when you stopped playing that one song and started playing the other song i thought it flowed so beautifully i thought it flowed so perfectly it was a wonderful transition wonderful transition when you stopped burning fossil fuels and started using solar cells no smog, no CO2 that's the best thing i ever saw you do wonderful transition Palatable Masculine Press 156bpm C G Em now you know that i love tofu C G D as much as the next guy and when stir-frying my tofu, getting best results demands that it be dry C G Em A but every tofu press i find when i'm down at the store C G D is made with girls in mind they're colored pink and purple and it's just a bit too much I just want a C G D palatable masculine press palatable masculine press is that too much to ask a palatable masculine press The Light Outcomes B*[x99800] Abarre Dbarre E it's never easy to set your alarm for six a.m. turn it off all bleary eyed and stumble out of bed lift your bicycle down the stairs before everyone else's days start pedal over to tower bridge and wait for the clouds to part and look for the liiiiiight outcomes when the sun first greets your eye liiiiiight outcomes it's hard, but it's good to try in the city the lookout points require you to climb a hill get to the top all out of breath and fix your vision still hopefully you've brought a snack cuz your leg muscles need some fuel after all this work the fog blots the sun out, it's so cruel to miss out on liiiiiight outcomes when the sun first greets your eye liiiiiight outcomes it's hard, but it's good to try 140bpm? really 70bpm? Weekend of Frugal Insects xx7650 Fmaj7 the weekend of frugal insects has drawn to a close they didn't spend much on entertainment just hung around in a semicircle and talked and buzzed and flew the ants and bees and moths have to go back to work Dm A they can't stay out no they can't stay out Playful Thick Theory E7 G A E7 G Bm A you're gonna love this new marxist his book runs to almost a thousand pages and the second that you start this you'll see why he's the best of our leftist sages Bm A E cause it's playful thick theory presented in a light and comic tone playful thick theory full of in-jokes only academics know One of Naive Occasions F C Em F C Am i wasn't always as savvy as i am now on a past naive occasion i made a mistake it was one of many r.e.s.u.l.t.z. all barre C G C G Am C G C G Abm if you think you'd like to be with me there's just one kind of thing i'd like to see and that's r.e.s.u.l.t.z. that's r.e.s.u.l.t.z. Complex Nhealthy Child C G Am D Am D Am E 86bpm you think that i'm too wild but i'm a complex and healthy child and your attempts to pathologize just leave me insufferably defiled if you'd stop it with all this "help" and for once let me be myself maybe it'd open up your eyes to all the pressure that i've felt Players and Presses barre: A Bm C#m D at this book fair, publishing is our profession but if i may make a candid confession lots of my mates here are looking for dates books are the job but we're hoping for love E A [open] we've got players and presses players and presses D A E x2 -- x: A Bm C#m D A Performance E A F#m B 107bpm as your boss something i would like to dooo is review the performance attained by you now don't freak out, it's alright yo the company does this on a half year cycle performance review performance of you if you're having trouble meeting your goals it's my job to help you overcome obstacles but if our team failed cuz i'm clueless and daft then i'll probably just blame you to cover my ass Excitement-Judge Bb Eb Cm Bb high up barre Assistant for the Counter Mistake E7 G6 A E7 122bpm my enemies are making errors and i need to respond by making an error of my own won't you help me foul this up i can't pull it off by myself, i need an assistant for the counter mistake a sidekick to screw up like our rivals did Sure-Footed Percentage E D B E B high barre E D A F#[low] B [rest] E B [rest] one hundred percent is the most sure-footed percentage all other percentage figures leave some room for doubt or disagreement so if you have a problem with me winning one hundred percent of the vote please have a discussion about it with my security force 134bpm